Thursday, December 22, 2005

The decline of Western Civilization —Part V, or Barbie is toast

First, we’ll put Barbie in a wet t-shirt, then Ken is going to put her over his knees and spank her—The latest from the world of abnormal psychology (in other words, pre-pube girls) comes from a study from the University of Bath in Britain. It seems that many young girls like to mutilate and torture their Barbie dolls. A study of 100 children, aged 7 to 11, came up with a number of girls who got violent with their dolls. They hated the dolls so much they tortured them, removing hair, decapitating them, burning them, and best of all, sticking them in microwaves. Why, you may ask? “When we asked the groups of junior school children about Barbie, the doll provoked rejection, hatred and violence,” said Dr Agnes Nairn from the University of Bath’s School of Management. “The meaning of ‘Barbie’ went beyond an expressed antipathy; actual physical violence and torture towards the doll was repeatedly reported, quite gleefully, across age, school and gender.” One theory is that they have outgrown the dolls and thought it would be cool to terminate them violently. Outgrowing Barbie, apparently is a rite of passage. Mattel, which makes the dolls, said the study was too small to mean anything. It would seem to me, the best thing to do would be to dress them up in something really ugly and play rap music to them for hours at a time. Even those dolls would surrender. How about a double mastectomy?

Well, if we cut Barbie’s hair real short, put her in slacks and a tight bra, we’d have Barbie Dyke—So there is an alternative. Lesbian dolls. If you go to Dykesdolls on the web, here, you will see a splendid line of lesbian action figures. It doesn’t say what the action is but nothing would surprise me. The line includes the butch Bobbie doll, with “denim jeans and boots...all boy on the outside but woman underneath." And there is the Baby Dyke line too. I don’t know what any of this means. A gay Ken would flesh out the picture, don't you think? [With thanks to reader Larry M.]

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